I want to start out by saying that if your father is still in your life, be very thankful. For me, that would be a true father's day gift since I lost my dad a few years ago.
Until it happens, you just don't realize how hard it is to lose someone that you love. So, on this father's day, if you're father is still here, please remember him and let him him know how much you love him. That would be my best father's day gift idea ever. I know everyone gets caught up in getting presents and everything, but sometimes showing your love to your family can be more than enough. It always has been for me.
My father was one of the hardest working people I ever knew, and thankfully I got my drive and 'never give up' attitude from him. That has been a saving grace many times in my life. He worked for a lumber company, and this was the only job he ever worked until the mill closed down. The job he had there was very hard (running the saw), and I remember all the callouses on his hands, but he never complained when he got home. As he got older, I could see all the aches and pains he suffered, but he never said anything about them and he never used them as an excuse as a way out of doing something. He raised us kids that if you have a job, always take pride in what you do and appreciate the fact that you can provide for your family. That really is something with the way things are today too. You know what, he never ever missed one day of work in his life. I can't say as much since I did have to take time off when I was having my children.
Another thing I'll always remember is the pride my father took in everything he did, especially our yard. That was his pride and joy. If one of us cut the grass, and it wasn't just right, he'd go back over it but wouldn't make us feel bad about it. He just taught us that we all have our own way of doing things and to respect that. "Just because I do things differently than you, doesn't make it wrong," he said more than once. "That's why this country is great. We can all follow our own path, but just because one path is different doesn't make it wrong."
More than anything, my father just loved to be in the great outdoors. He couldn't wait for that first inkling of Spring to come so he could work on his garden and planting flowers all around our house. I still can't wait for Spring remembering the smell of all those beautiful flowers filling our house for months. So many times, we'd tell him he needed to take a break since he'd come home from working at the mill all day to work outside. He would just tell us that life was to short and we should do the things in life that made us happy. Even when he got sick, he would still try to get out in the yard to work in his garden. It drove my mom crazy sometimes, but she understood his passion.
The one relaxing thing my dad loved to do was playing Rook. He loved that game so much that the minute he heard someone say they enjoyed it, they would immediately be whisked off to play it, especially strangers. My father was always talking to strangers and had no problems striking up a conversation with anyone. It didn't matter who they were or their beliefs, he never judged them. "I can learn from people I disagree with more than I can by always being around people who share my believes," he told me when I asked him about this. He also would say that he learned more about what was really going on in the world that way than just sitting in front of the TV all day. I barely remember him ever watching tv come to think of it. The only thing my dad didn't have any patience for was if anyone ever spoke ill of his children or family. That would be the only time I ever saw him get angry, and it made me realize the value of family.
I was so nervous that he might get angry the night my husband proposed to me. You know, I don't really know why either. I think that most women are afraid their father won't approve of a choice they make. Nothing is worse than getting that look. I know I've been guilty of giving to my kids sometimes. That night my dad had just gotten back from my cousin's wedding, and we were all in the kitchen. He was eating potato chips, and when I showed him my engagement ring, he nodded slightly and just started shoving them in his mouth like crazy. Afraid that he was going to choke, my mom gave him a glass of water and asked him if he understood. He took a long swallow of water, slowly turned to look at my husband and asked him one question. "Are you going to be good to my daughter?" After my husband said a solemn "Yes" he was ready to celebrate our future.
I had moved to Atlanta before my dad got sick so it was a real shock since he was always in perfect health. I don't remember him even getting a cold and now he was suddenly close to death. When I walked in the front door of my childhood home, he just smiled at me and said "I didn't think I was going to get to see you again." That just broke my heart since it let me know just how seriously ill he was. My father was not one to say things like that to make you feel guilty for not getting home enough. During his remaining time here on earth, I tried to get home to see him as often as I could since his illness stayed with him for a few years. It was so hard to see him suffering more and more, and I just felt like I wasn't able to get home as often as I wanted. I think I truly felt that the more I could see him, it would keep him going and staying alive. Sometimes we get greedy with people and want them to stay around even when they're ready to go.
I didn't get to be there when my father decided it was time for him to move on, and it killed me so much. I don't know how many times I asked myself why couldn't I have made the trip there then. Why was it the weekend before and things like that? My mom told me that he didn't want to have us around when it was that time since he wanted to share it with her. She was his whole life and best friend and that was something for the two of them to say their final goodbyes. It took me a long time to understand that, but my dad didn't need all of us kids just crying around him when he was ready to make his journey. He wanted the last person for him to see was my mom.
I was staying with my mom for awhile after that trying to help her get everything squared away. One morning she came to my door and asked if I heard dad waking us up, and I asked her what she meant. She laughed and said that there was a bird on the windowsill singing all morning and chirping. It was a bluejay, my dad's favorite bird and to her, it was like he was telling us to get out of bed and enjoy life. We'd spent too much time mourning and not enjoying the morning so it was time for us to also move on.
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